ADHD • RELATIONSHIPS • SHARED RESPONSIBILITY

Observe together.
Share the mental load.

A partner check-in for two separate conversations: treatment experiences and household ownership.

By Caleb Brooks, LICSW · For partners of any gender

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Start with agreement

Dates or week discussedWhat observations has the person taking medication agreed to discuss?Their treatment goal, in their own words

1. Observations for the prescriber

Person taking medication: what feels better, harder, or unchanged?Partner’s agreed observations: what specifically happened?When and where? Include sleep, stress, or unusual demands.Benefits or unwanted changes: sleep, appetite, mood, or other concernsQuestions to bring to the prescriber

2. Share the whole responsibility

Choose one household responsibilityWhat needs noticing, remembering, and planning?Who owns it from start to finish?What does finished mean?When will it happen?What reminders or supports will the owner set up?If it gets stuck: who communicates and what is the backup plan?What does each partner need for rest, capacity, and fairness?

3. A brief check-in

Next agreed check-inWhat worked?What got stuck?One adjustment we agree to try

Bring observations—not conclusions.

Follow prescribing instructions. Do not change doses, timing, or skip medication to test household performance. Discuss benefits and concerns with the prescriber; contact them promptly about concerning or troublesome effects. This worksheet does not provide medical evaluation or prescribing advice.

If the conversation becomes tense, use the STOP Before You React guide and agree on a time to return.

Your discussion summary

Choose what to include before printing or downloading. Household agreements do not need to be shared with the prescriber.

Include treatment observations Include household agreement and check-in

Companion article: Is My Husband’s ADHD Medication Helping?
Clinical reference: NICE ADHD guidance: involvement and treatment monitoring.